Where the river takes us
by Biologynerd
Summary: Isla is starting her first year as a junior. It is now 7 months since her divorce and things still aren't much better. Her ex-husband is avoiding her, the rumormill is still going and Isla gets an unwanted visit from the past that could put her in danger. So once again Isla is thrown in the deep end but this time she's smarter and stronger. She hopes.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first story. I haven't exactly decided where it is heading yet, just got a few scenes in my head so I'll be looking forward to seeing where this is going too. English is not my first language so I hope you forgive any spelling and grammar mistakes. Feel free to PM me you see any._

 _Well, without any further delay, I hope you enjoy the story._

* * *

Today is my first day as Junior. I stand to the side of the gate with my bag looking up at the school I have been attending for two years now. Two years. So much have happened in that time yet so little has changed. I know I should get to my room and unpack but I just can't bring myself to go any further. A part of me is telling me to turn around, walk away and never return. Ironically the same part is telling me to get my act together and get going. I take a deep breath and let it out. I can't run away so I might as well just go. I pick up my bag and start moving towards my dorm. Same dorm, same floor, same room as the last two years. It makes sense. It is just a lot more practical to keep us in the same rooms all four years so we can keep whatever we didn't need during the summer in our room. I walk into my room to find Virginia and Ellen are already there talking about their holyday it seems like. After Ellen chose to have her parents forget about her, Virginia's family has practically adopted her. Probably helps that Ellen and Donald are still together.

"Hey, Isla! Welcome back!" exclaims Virginia.

"Thanks," I say smiling at her obvious excitement.

They both get of the bed and we hug before we all get into how our holyday went. Apparently Donald and Ellen have been glued to each other a lot of the time and Virginia has been teasing them mercilessly.

"And the year has started great! No Grabby at the front gate to scare everyone and give out detention and demerits!" Virginia says with a big smile on her face. "Though pretty weird. I always thought he enjoyed scaring all the freshmen on the first day."

"Yeah, weird.." I say quietly, my good mood suddenly disappearing.

"Virginia!" Ellen says under her breath while elbowing Virginia.

Virginia, looking confused, looking first at Ellen, then at me before going "Oh. Sorry.."

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine."

I force a smile to make it more believable but it's obvious that neither of them are buying it. I had tried to hide it from them but of cause you can only hide so much when you are living together. We talk for a little longer before Ellen and Virginia decide to go looking for some of the other people they haven't seen all summer. I decide to stay behind and unpack. My mood is just not up for much socializing. It's really pathetic. I mean, it been more than 7 months for crying out loud! How can I still be affected like this? Instead of putting things in my closet properly it gets practically thrown in. When I'm done I throw myself on my bed and look up at the ceiling. I'm stronger than this. He's just a man! Though of cause he's the man who divorced me and has been avoiding me ever since. He barely even asks me anything in class and when he does his reluctance is palpable. Well excuse me for still existing! And everyone else seems to notice too. There have been some pretty nasty rumors because of it. So yeah, school has not been easy since the divorce. The divorce..

I get up from the bed in one sudden move. No way am I going to sit in here being all depressed! I head out with Donald's room as my goal. He is always fun to hang around and I've missed his happy nature.


	2. Chapter 2

_So here is the second chapter. The last two days I have been going non-stop thinking about how everything is supposed to connect and how things needs to be to make it possible. Still quite alot I haven't figured out but I'm sure it'll work out somehow. Italic/cursive writing will always be a memory unless it's writen in the story as being otherwise. I'll try to keep it from being too confusing._

 _Well hope you enjoy!_

* * *

I knock on the door to Donald's room. The one opening is Luke, Donald's roommate.

"Hey Luke," I say forgetting about my previously bad mood. I like Luke. He is rather cute in a clumsy mischievous way.

"Hey Isla. How was your summer?" he asks grinning.

"It was great. It was nice seeing my family again. The short holidays just doesn't cut it," I can't help smiling at some of the things that happened over the holiday "How was yours?"

"Great! Went to Europe with my family," he says looking excited.

"Hey Luke! Are you gonna let her in or not?" I hear someone shout from inside the room.

Turns out I'm not the only one who's visiting. The one shouting is Donald. Next to him is Ellen. They've been together the in tire holiday and she can't go without him for a single day. Well I guess if I was crazy for someone like that I'd probably want to be around them all the time too. At least if I could.. I get inside and we all start talking about our holiday and how we're all juniors and what's going to happen this year.

"Well from what William told me, we're still going to have magical history and this year we'll also have magical species," Donald explains.

"Sounds interesting. How come we didn't have a class that seems so important earlier?" Ellen askes a frown marring her face.

"Beats me. Maybe so we will focus on learning magic first. I mean what good is knowing everything about the world without having learnt any magic,"

"I guess," Ellen replies looking deep in thought.

"So Isla, up for any pranks this year?" Donald seems ready to get started immediately.

"Maybe, depends what you got planned," I can't help laughing. He will always be pulling pranks on people, even when he's rolling around in a wheelchair.

"Nothing yet but It's gonna be grand!"

"Looking forward to it," we sit grinning at each other.

After I helped Donald with his prank on Virginia last year I had wanted to do it again at least once but being a teachers wife made me feel that it would be vary inappropriate.

"Well I'm not anymore!" I think feeling quite a bit of anticipation.

That night I can't seem to fall asleep though Virginia and Ellen fell asleep an hour ago. I didn't see Heironymous today but it won't be long until I have to face him. He is a teacher after all so there's no way to avoid him. That's what I get for falling in love with a teacher. I lie there restlessly for another thirty minutes before finally falling asleep.

The next day starts out in a bit of a rush. Because of my lack of sleep I don't wake up until Virginia and Ellen are almost ready to down for breakfast. In ten minutes I manage to get dressed, brush my teeth and get my fiery red hair in a high ponytail. My hair now reaches to about the middle of my back when loose so letting it hang can be quite annoying. There is no time for makeup, though it has become a regular thing since Ellen and Virginia bought a bunch of stuff for me for my birthday seven months ago. All of it focused on bringing out my forest green eyes. Doing breakfast we discuss which classes we are going to attend this week. I look up and see Heironymous sitting at the same table he always sits at. As usual his breakfast is completely forgotten as he is consumed by the book he is reading. How he's not underweight is beyond me.

" _Good morning," I say hesitantly hoping he's in a good mood though making him look up from his book probably isn't going to help "Mind if I sit?"_

 _He frowns when he looks up, then his expression softens slightly as he notices that it is me "Good morning, if you truly wish to I shall not stop you,"_

 _I quickly sit down with a small smile on my face. He of cause just dips down into his book again paying me no mind. Seriously, though raised as a gentleman he can be incredibly rude sometimes. Well I guess it's up to me to start up conversation then._

" _What are you reading?"_

 _He looks up now mildly irritated "The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco,"_

" _It doesn't sound as difficult as what you usually read," I observe._

" _I don't believe you would be able to manage reading through this one without a dictionary and a book about world history," a smug smile forming on his face._

" _Now it sounds more like what you usually read," a grin now plastered on my face._

 _He smiles slightly before looking back down in his book. We sit for a couple of minutes in a comfortable silence while I continue eating my breakfast quite happy with our conversation considering I interrupted his reading. I had expected some growling at least. Still his breakfast, a piece of toast with cheese, sits undisturbed in front of him._

" _Heironymous if you don't start eating soon you'll be teaching on an empty stomach," a slight frown on my face._

 _He looks at his food with annoyance, then exhales heavily before closing the book and picking the offending piece of toast up "I suppose there is no reason to make the classes more unbearable than they already are,"_

 _I try to stop myself from giggling knowing he would not appreciate it. Sometimes he really sounds like a grumpy teenager._

Suddenly I'm snapped out of the memory by Virginia asking about what classes I'm taking this week. I look down at my schedule before quickly deciding. Magical history, blue, green, magical species and red. Both Virginia and Ellen looks surprised probably because not only am I taking one of Heironymous' classes today but also on Friday. The only classes he teaches to the juniors are magical history and red magic. For the junior classes' Professor Ante teaches blue and white and Professor Moor teaches green, black and magical species. That is at least what the flyer said that was posted on the board in the cafeteria. Professor Potsdam it seems only teaches the freshmen, though it makes sense considering she is the headmistress. Professor Ante and Moor both started teaching us last year in the same classes as this year except magical species of cause.

After reassuring them both that I'm really fine we head back to our room to prepare for classes. I know it seems strange that I would purposely take two of his classes the very first week with everything being so awkward between us but I really miss him. We haven't really talked since the divorce and I guess I just want to get a chance to do that again or something like that. Done getting ready for class we all head out.


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting in class I start getting anxious. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, taking Heironymous' class as the first one this year. I mean this could be completely misunderstood as me still being obsessed with him (which I'm not by the way despite my continuous thinking of him). Before I can think further on the subject, he steps in through the door. My heart stops for a second, my body paralyzed my some strange fear and excitement at being this close to him. When he begins looking around to see who is attending I come to my senses and look down in my book before our eyes meet. No way in hell am I letting him see the effect he has on me. Since the divorce I've been trying to hold on to my tattered pride and I'm not about to give it up now. After a moment he begins the lesson and I allow myself to look up after I'm sure my feeling are properly hidden. He's giving one of his usual speeches but this time about ignorance and how not knowing magical history and general customs, traditions and rituals can get us killed. I guess it makes sense that with history customs, tradition and rituals would also be included in a general sense. I'm guessing with specific species these things will be covered in Magical Species. The speech is similar to the rest of his speeches but I know he's saying it to protect us so though I have a good idea about what he's going to say I listen intently. Also I know if I don't he'll call me on it and give one of his usual snarky comments. Today he teaches us of the legend of the first known wizards and how they established the first magical council, together with some other magical creatures. There are 13 seats, some held by wizards and some by other magical beings. The 13th seat is held by the Chief who is impartial and will cast the final vote should there be a draw. From there Heironymous continuous on about some of the decisions made by the first council.

After the lesson my head feels like it's going to fall off. Between the lesson and being around Heironymous all of my energy is gone. All I can think of is going back to my room and sleeping the next twenty years. Before I can think better of it I look back as I'm walking out the door and catches Heironymous looking at me. Then I'm out of the classroom pushed by the rest of the class trying to get out. While I'm walking back to my room I wonder about it.

No, don't think about it. It was nothing. He was just watching everyone leaving and coincidently you at that moment. Don't get your hopes up. Remember he left you.

After that wonderful pep talk I'm ready to just lie down and forget everything in a dreamless sleep. As I open the door to my room I see Virginia and Ellen sitting at each of their bed talking but stops as I walk in.

"So how was class?" Ellen asks a careful smile on her lips.

"Augh!" I fall facedown unto the bed. "Next time I'm being this stupid hit me over the head. I mean, what were I thinking taking one of Grabiner's classes first thing in the year. I know he starts out harder than anyone!" I complain into my pillow.

Virginia gives a short laugh. "Well I hope you've learned your lesson. Never take Grabby's classes in the first two weeks!"

I turn my head to look at her and give a tired smile. "Noted,"

"Don't you have red magic on Friday?" Ellen asks worried.

"Augh! I'm doomed!" I exclaim as I burry my face in my pillow.

After laughing at my misery they begin talking about their earlier subject again. I turn my head towards them and listen for a couple of minutes before I turn around and try to sleep. It takes a bit but finally I am taken under and as I hoped it is completely dreamless.

The next day is blue magic. It is one of my favorite types of magic second only to green. I'm not especially great at it or anything but I've always liked the way you could use it to take something and change it into something else. A couple of minutes after I sit down by a desk Professor Ante enters. He is the "hot young" professor on the school and it seems every girl is gushing over him. I do see that he has a moderately handsome face with a strong jaw and light blue eyes, a golden tan and a muscled body but really I don't get what all the fuss is about. Then again maybe I'm biased, having been married to another professor here and all. He's just acts so carefree and smiles at everyone. I've never liked those teachers much. It's impossible to figure out what they're really thinking. As he stands behind his desk he gives one of those charming smiles with a touch of devil in it. All the other girls practically turn into goop and I think a few of the boys as well. I roll my eye in exasperation.

"Welcome back everyone. I hope you've had a great summer and are ready begin studying magic again,"

He pulls his hand through his black hair that is cut short though long enough to brush his neck like he's gone a couple of months past when it should have been cut. With his flowing curls it gives him a bit of a wild exotic look fitting with his Philippian decent which also makes his eyes that much more noticeable. Through the entire time the class lasts many of those attending are gushing over him. I'll be surprised if they have learned anything. As class ends I'm the first one to leave, no big surprise there. Suddenly Donald comes running up behind me having been to the same class as me.

"I thought I was gonna puke!" he exclaims.

I give him a short grin "You and me both. Wish he would at least tell them to be quiet so the rest of us could study,"

He laughs and claps me on the shoulder. Together we go back to my room where he is meeting up with Ellen. Virginia and I decide we are not interested in sticking around. After quickly teasing them we run out the door and get a football match started with a few others on the grass field behind the school. A couple of times through the day I think about Heironymous wondering what he is doing and such but I quickly push it away. I'm done thinking about him all the time. A new year and a new chapter in my life.

* * *

I finally had time to write again. Life likes to keep me busy.

I've have been so unsure as to how Isla should address Heironymous both in her head and to others. In her head I believe she is stubborn enough to keep calling him by his first name. To others I don't see her calling him Grabby but Heironymous would not be a possibility either so Grabiner seems like a good neutral middle ground. Describing a hot teacher without sounding interested also proved an interesting challenge.

Hope you liked it and hopefully I'll be able to write again soon. Got big plans for this!


	4. Chapter 4

Thursday is Magical Species. I'm really looking forward to this. We wildseed juniors have now been walking around in the magical world for two years knowing next to nothing about its inhabitants. Seems rather dangerous if you ask me. I'm sitting on the front row with Ellen at the desk next to me. It is only in Professor Moor's classes that I do this. I don't do it in Heironymous' classes for the obvious reasons, being how awkward it would be, among other things. In Professor Ante's classes, it's simply not possible even if I wanted to since his fans are quick to take those seats. I actually really like Professor Moor because she's so very down to earth. She looks about 28 though it's hard to tell with how one can slow the aging process with green magic. Her slightly curly light ash brown hair is always up in some kind of bun and she only wears a minimal amount of makeup. Any time I've seen her she always has this elegant relaxed air around her like nothing could make her loose her composure. I sit up straight as I hear her short high heels walking over the classroom floor. As she get to her desk and turns to us a calm atmosphere envelopes the classroom. I've often wondered if this is some magical thing or if it's just the natural reaction to being around her.

"Welcome back everyone. I hope you all had a fun vacation. This year you will be learning about the different magical species, their individual customs and traditions, and how to act appropriately with every species. I know you've already learned about the spivak pronouns but just so we are sure everyone can use them properly we will review them again,"

She leans against the front of her desk and starts reciting the pronouns. We use the next ten minutes practicing them in pairs. After this, Professor Moor tells us to turn to page 20 in our books, which is about brownies. Apparently, they are small creatures about ten centimetres high with short brown curly hair. They'll live in houses and help with small tasks at night, when nobody is watching. Usually those living in the house will then give the brownies small gifts of food.

By the end of class, I know I'll be attending this class often. Not only does it seem like we'll learn some things that are quiet important but it's also incredibly interesting. Might have something to do with the fact that as a wildseed I've heard a lot of information about different species without a way to know what's true or if the creatures were even real or made up by non-magical humans.

Friday's class goes as could be expected. Before class there is a couple of whispers about my presence there but as Hieronymous enters nobody dares to say anything further. I keep my eyes on my book until he begins speaking. As he did in magical history, he gives a speech but now about the dangers of red magic and how only simpleminded people completely rely on it. When he's done he begins explaining the next spell we are to learn. We're done with the basic spells and have begun working on more advanced versions of them. Today is the Far Speak spell and how to use it over longer distances such as when you want to speak with someone miles away.

"With enough control and mana you may be able to communicate with someone who is in another state. For anything further away you would need to draw a circle with the correct symbols and use the appropriate incantation," Heironymous continues.

Just like on Monday I'm completely drained after class. I am definitely not taking any of Hieronymous' classes next week. As I step out of the classroom, I see Catherine Sullivan standing in the hall with her little minions, probably just having finished her own class. It might not be the kindest description of them but it's still true. Catherine has been a thorn in my side for some time now. It seems with Angela's graduation Catherine has taken her place as the ever-popular annoying snob. She's from some rich magical family which can apparently be traced back to some elves or something. From what I've been told all magical families can be traced back to some magical creature but mixing with humans has made the lineage weaker to the point where one can't always tell the ancestry by looking at a wizard. Today Catherine's mahogany brown hair is hanging loose reaching to just past her shoulders though the big wavy curls makes it seem shorter than it actually is. She has that model look with her high cheekbones, fair skin and big brown eyes. Of cause, she is a butterfly and a junior too.

As I'm considering my options in avoiding talking to her she turns around and looks straight at me and I know that I am not going to get around dealing with her today. As I try to walk past, she steps in front of me.

"Isla, I see you've been in Professor Grabiners class. I heard you were in his class on Monday as well," she has this nasty smile plastered on her face that is all fake friendliness.

"So?" yeah, I'm real good at this teenage bantering, I know.

"I just find it curious that it is only the first week after summer vacation and you have already been to two of his classes. Some might think you're still chasing after a man who clearly not interested" a devil's smile now on her face

Ouch. Yeah, that one stung. I'm still bruised after everything that has happened and Hieronymous completely ignoring me has not helped.

"Clearly some people are quite bored if, which classes I'm taking is the most entertaining thing they can talk about,"

She then smiles at me like I'm some pathetic creature "Oh, but it is quite troublesome when a girl can't accept that she is unwanted," she lets out a small giggle.

I'm about to give her my opinion on what I think of girls who meddles in other people's business when I hear a voice behind me.

"As interesting as Miss Murray's emotional affairs might be, you are all blocking the hallway. I am sure there is somewhere else you and your friends should be Miss Sullivan," Heironymous says with some annoyance in his voice.

By this point, he is standing next to me. I don't look at him but focus ahead of me on Catherine who just smiles at him sweetly.

"Yes Sir," she smiles condescendingly at me one last time before turning to leave with her followers.

"You should quickly return to your dorm as well Miss Murray," I can feel his eyes on me now.

I quickly glance up at him before looking ahead again "Yes Sir," and with that, I begin walking away at a brisk pace.

As I get outside, I stop to reconsider where I'm going. I was going to go back to my room but I know Virginia and Ellen will be there ready to ask me about class and I just don't want to deal with that yet so I go down the paths in the forested area around the school. When they end, I keep going until I get to a small clearing. I lie down in the grass with my books next to me looking up at the sky. It's still quite warm and there is barely any wind. A part of me wants to overanalyse what just happened and believe he came out to help me but it's more likely that he was just trying to clear the hallway. I feel the tiredness taking me over and I start dozing off. I fall asleep just as confused by the bad tempered professor as I've always been.

* * *

I'm sorry if it feels quite slow here in the beginning but there is so many new things I need to introduce before I can get the story truly going. I hope you find the world building interesting at least. It always bothered me that we weren't told much in that regard in the game so I'm making that a focus in my story. I hope you like the chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday morning I get up at 5 am to deliver the mail. Until elections, this is still my job. That reminds me that I have to decide if I want to run this year. Last year it wasn't a hard question to answer given the marriage and my feeling for Hieronymous. This year is quite a different case. The thing is I've always liked the work even if I leave Hieronymous out of it. Those quiet mornings where all I can hear is the wind in the trees and my own footsteps. I make it to the mailroom and walk inside. As I step across the doorway, I look around the room. I have so many memories in this room.

" _Good morning Hieronymous. What are you doing?"_

 _Hieronymous is sitting at the table in the mailroom facing the door._

" _Good morning. I am sorting the freshman mail since they have not yet had a chance to elect a treasurer for themselves,"_

" _Oh, I never considered how that was handled,"_

 _I sit down at the table across from him and begin sorting through the sophomore mail. We sit in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes sorting through the mail._

" _If you'd like I could help you deliver the mail," I say as nonchalantly as I can._

 _He look up and frowns at me "I am quite capable of delivering the mail on my own,"_

" _Not what I meant," I say raising a brow at him though powerless to keep myself from smiling. The man has such a quick temper though he seems to be trying to control it more lately._

" _I just thought it would be more enjoyable to do it together"_

 _A slight blush appears on his face before he shakes it off. God forbid he would ever appear anything but calm and collected._

" _My_ apologies _. Though I would not wish you to be late with your own deliveries,"_

" _Then you could help me with mine as well. Then I won't be late," I suggest smiling cheekily._

 _He gives a crooked smile at my glee "I suppose,"_

 _I look down before he can notice the blush spreading on my cheeks. His smile has the habit of making my heart beat rapidly. With that, we finish sorting our mail before leaving to do the deliveries together._

I shake myself out of the memory. Already exhausted though the day has just begun I sit down at the table to begin sorting the mail. Continuously ripping up the past is tiring me out. I really need to move on. But how do you move on from someone who has affected your life so drastically? Especially when he is your professor. I quickly finish the sorting and head out to deliver the mail.

As I return to the room both Virginia and Ellen are getting up.

"Good morning,"

"Good morning," they reply with a bit of a slur in their voices.

"So, are you guys going to the mall today?"

"Yeah, gotta relax after this week. The first week is always hard to get through," Virginia answers, now sounding more awake "You coming?"

"Yeah I'm coming. My brain is completely fried," exhaustion covering my every word.

We quickly get ready to go get breakfast and soon we're in the mall. We go get something to eat and play some games at the arcade. Last year we all had a little money left which we have saved until now. Afterwards I feel energized and the stress of the week seems to have disappeared.

The next week is initiation for the freshmen. From what I hear through the week, nothing too bad happens and no one ends up in detention. Though there was quite an interesting show when one of the freshmen, a boy with short blond hair, stood on the fountain in the courtyard and sang, "I'll make a man out of you". It was very entertaining and luckily for the boy his voice wasn't half bad. Maybe Donald will ask him to join his choral.

As the third week of the year rolls in Virginia ambushes Ellen and me in our room.

"You're joining the sports club again this year, right?"

I had expected this question knowing club signup would be on Wednesday, though I am surprised she has waited this long to ask us. Opposed to me Ellen looks flustered. Last week she and I talked about clubs for this year and she mentioned that she was considering only doing choral this year. She had never really liked sports much and with the new classes, we would be busy with homework. I can only agree but I'm guessing other things might be affecting her choice like a certain boy.

"Yeah I'm joining. Gotta be there to kick your ass," I say smirking.

"You wish!" Virginia grins back at me before looking at Ellen "What do you say Ellen?"

"Ehm," Ellen looks very uncomfortable "I was thinking only doing choral this year. We have so many classes now to keep up with, that I only have time for one club and I really enjoy singing,"

"Oh," awkward silence "well I guess I get that, but if you want you are welcome to come join us every now and then," Virginia looks uncomfortable but tries to smile at Ellen.

"Yeah, I'd really like that," Ellen smiles back at Virginia and it feels like the awkward atmosphere dissipates somewhat.

So that's what happens. Virginia and I join the sports club and Ellen the choral.

On Monday, the next week Ellen catches me before I leave for class.

"Hey, Professor Grabiner is probably holding a study session for each year of students again this year. Do you want to go?"

"Sure, we might catch something we've missed in class," I shrug hoping to seem more casual than I feel. I chanced magical history on Tuesday and Thursday last week and it still felt uncomfortable but I am getting better at keeping my feeling lucked up doing Hieronymous' classes. Is love supposed to be this difficult?

"Great! Virginia can't be bothered. I guess some things never change," we both laugh at that. Virginia didn't go the last two years either deciding that it won't do much of a difference.

"Damn! I have to go or I'll be late"

I run out the room waving back at Ellen over my shoulder. I get as far as the halls of the main school building before I get a reminder of why I don't run in the halls. As I get closer to a T in the hall, one way leading towards the classrooms and the other to the teachers private quarters, I see Hieronymous walking towards class and I'm about to collide with him. Again. I try to stop immediately, which makes me lose my balance having to step further forwards to avoid falling on my face. Together with this, I make all kinds of moves with my arms trying to get my balance back and hopefully grab on to something for dear life. Somehow I avoid falling over now standing bend over. As I look down I see two feet and I know I only just managed to not crash into Hieronymous. I feel my face going completely red knowing I must have looked completely ridiculous vailing about like that. Slowly I straighten up and look at him. What I see leaves me completely out of breath. He is smiling at me. Not the sneer he uses on disappointing students. It's the smile I haven't seen for so long. A warm smile with amusement in his eyes. It's barely there but to me it might as well have been filling his entire face. If other students hadn't been around I'm sure he would have chuckled.

"I see some things does not change though this time you managed to stop before causing an incident,"

I try to say something but the astonishment together with the embarrassment has made me speechless and I just look at him dumbfounded. As he realizes that I'm not going to speak his usual stern expression returns and I can breathe again.

"I believe you had somewhere you needed to be Miss Murray,"

"Oh! Yes!" I regain my composure and prepare to hurry towards class when I'm reminded of my conversation with Ellen. Hieronymous has already started walking and so I walk up beside him rather awkwardly.

"Umm, professor. I was wondering if you were going to have study sessions again this year for everyone?"

"Yes, as I have done the other years," he looks at me dubiously.

"Yeah, um, just wanted to make sure,"

"Do you intent to attend? You are doing quite well and I doubt you will have much difficulty doing the coming exam,"

I look up at him surprised by his statement before collecting myself "yeah well, maybe I'll learn something I've missed while taking other classes," I shrug trying to feel less uncomfortable.

"I suppose that is a fair point,"

We reach Professor Moors classroom and I quickly excuse myself before entering. That was quite an experience. Where did all that come from? The conversation could be explained with him being my professor and guiding me. But that smile. That wasn't anything that simple. Professor Moor enters the classroom so I quickly find a seat and put the incident to the back of my mind.

On Thursday Ellen and I enter the mailroom to attend the study session. I'm still unsure of what has caused Hieronymous to begin acting differently around me and I'm wondering if the change is going to last or if he's going to change back again. As he enters the mailroom, my heart starts beating faster. It continues to do so throughout the session.

"Miss Murray, what are the two types of magic barriers and what are their characteristics?"

I straighten up and try to sound confident "There are fire barriers and force barriers. A fire barrier is a weak field, which can easily be pushed through, though only the strongest wizard will be able to without being slightly charred, as the source of the fire is magical. They are mostly used for cleansing. A force barrier repel physical objects and can only be destroyed with a spell for dispelling,"

"Correct," with that he continues his barrage of question on the other students.

The next day I stand by the door to the exam room. I take a deep breath before grapping onto the handle and then I'm teleported into the dungeons.

"In order to pass this exam you must find the hidden exit but be warned, there are traps and you are not alone. Good luck,"

The dungeon is rather dark but I don't dare cast a light spell since it would attract any nearby monsters. I'm hoping to do this without being seen. I first cast a spell called scentless which will disrupt my scent so the monsters can't find me as easily. After this, I cast awareness. Gradually as I've become stronger the spell has gotten more detailed and a longer reach. I see that the hall I'm standing in continues quite a bit further with two halls branching of to the right and one to the left. There is also a couple of traps. I creep forward listening for any monsters nearby while avoiding the traps. I get to the first hall to the right and cast breeze. The breeze directs me forward. I consider casting an awareness spell down the hall so I know if there is any monsters down there but decide against it. Better to conserve the energy. I begin creeping forward again avoiding another trap before I get to the next hall going to the right. Again, I cast breeze and again it directs me forward. As I sneak forward again, I hear something not far behind me. I turn around slowly and see a hodag looking down the hall towards where I came from. I freeze and immediately begin considering my options. A hodag has a good night vision so if it turns around I'm toast. I have to do something. I can't cast fear since the commotion would lure the other monsters here. My best choice is sleep though it costs a lot of mana but it will cost more if I have to fight all the monsters down here. I cast the spell and watch as the Hodag lays down on the ground and goes to sleep. When I'm sure it has worked I continue forward. As I get to the last hall I cast breeze again and this time it leads me down the corridor. I cast awareness down the hall and know that the exit is at the middle guarded by another Hodag. I cast another sleep spell, then truesight and as I leave the dungeon, I still have magic to spare.

"Well done! 5 merits for passing the exam and another 5 for doing it without the use of violence," Professor Moor smiles at me warmly. "I really enjoy watching the exams of those who tries to solve the problems more creatively,"

"Thanks Professor. It is more fun doing it that way."

"I'm glad to hear. Have a good day Miss Murray."

"You too," I beam and wave at her as I Ieave.


	6. Chapter 6

The next week I choose to attend green magic, magical history, magical species, white magic and black magic. Those three are where I'm strongest in that order followed by blue and red. It forces me to be a bit more creative since I can't just blast my way through a problem like Virginia might. Ellen is strongest in blue so we're a pretty good pairing in the group exams. I wonder if Potsdam knew that when she put us together. I always had a feeling that she knows more than she is letting on.

In Green magic we are all sitting out in the forest with at least ten meters between each other doing what is looking like meditating. Actually we are connecting to the nature around us. A strong green witch or wizard can not only feel the nature around them, they can almost make it talk to them is this strange way where you are connected to every plant and creature around you and can feel, see, smell, taste and/or hear the same thing they are. If a living branch breaks you "feel" it and can then react to it. Not only that but depending on how good you are at this you can draw energy from the nature around you to either heal or give you more mana. This is incredibly difficult and the best of us in the class can currently only get a general feel of the nature one meter around us. The reason for the big gap between us is to help us concentrate. Professor Moor is walking between us helping where needed. Though it is not meditation is sorta feels like it to me. I am always completely relaxed feeling the natural energies brushing over my body. I can't grasp it but it is still a soothing feeling. I get a feeling that I've done this before a long time ago but the memory is just out of reach.

"Focus Miss Murray,"

I'm snapped out of it by Professor Moor's voice and goes back to what I was supposed to be doing though the feeling doesn't leave me.

The next day in magical history we're learning about a territorial war taking between a group of Necks and Kelpies who both wanted a certain part of the Tweed River because is was a good hunting area. There were losses on both sides and they ended up making a truce and dividing the area equally between them. What I'm quickly realising is that a lot of magical history is about things like these. Disagreements that turned into war which were solved by either a truce between the parties or utter defeat of one part. Though in more recent times the council has been involving themselves with these disputes to avoid detection.

The rest of the week goes by without any incident until friday. This is the day I have to decide if I want to try for treasurer again. I've been giving it a lot of thought and decide that I do want to. The juniors have even more responsibility than freshmen and sophomores for example the prom and next year's initiation and I want to be a part of it. After class I find professor Potsdam leaving a classroom and I run up to her.

"Good Day Professor Potsdam. I wanted to talk to you if you have a moment,"

She turns around and her eyes light up as she looks at me.

"Well hello Isla. Of cause I have a moment. And how many times must I tell you to call me Petunia?"

I hate it when she does this. It's like she insists on placing me apart from the other students and I'm already isolated enough as it is.

"Yes well, I just wanted to submit my papers for the treasurer election,"

"Oh of course dearie! I'll take those and let Hieronymous know,"

She smiles at me like I just told her I was going on a date or something. She is really far too optimistic about us. I mean really! We're divorced!

"Um, thank you Professor," I shuffle awkwardly in front of her ready to get the hell out of there.

"Isla," she look at me in a mildly admonishing way.

"..Petunia," I reluctantly say as quietly as I can without being rude. She brightens up and I run of before things get worse.

The next day is the apple festival. Last year was pretty great and I even hung out with Hieronymous for some of it. Right after breakfast all the people going are rushed into some school busses that I have no idea where are usually kept though it should be impossible to hide them. I notice Hieronymous entering one of the other busses. It takes us about an hour to drive to the next county over where it is held. The first few hours there go by in a rush with all the smells and sounds making your attention switch constantly. Virginia runs around from booth to booth tasting all the food. Ellen is more interested in the craft booths and drags Donald around with her though he seems less than reluctant. At some point we stumble over an eating contest and Virginia and Donald enter after Virginia challenges him. I take this chance to walk off by myself. I find an apple pie booth I found last year which had the most delicious pie, buy a piece and sit down in the grass under a nearby tree. I don't realise someone else is standing under it until I hear his voice.

"Enjoying the festival?"

I freeze up for a moment, then look up with some trepidation. Hieronymous is standing next to me looking out at the people walking past. He glances down when I don't immediately answer. I quickly look forward before he can read my expression.

"Yes.. Though it becomes a little much after a while,"

"Yes all the people are quite headache inducing,"

I can almost imagine the frown on his face and despite myself I can't quite stifle a giggle. I look up to see him frowning at me, then sighs and looks out at the people again. For a moment he says nothing.

"Petunia was quite happy to inform me yesterday that you'll be running for treasurer again this year,"

I look down, suddenly very uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I really like the work so thought I'd just continue doing it again this year," I glance up at him to judge his reaction. After a moment he nods.

"I'll expect you to have decided on your campaign strategy by monday. Good day,"

He then walks off and disappears into the crowd. I watch him as he walks away wandering whatever could be going through that man's mind.

After finishing my pie I meet up with everyone again and predictably Virginia won the eating contest. That girl's stomach has no bottom. We languidly enjoy the rest of the festival and all dance in the contra dance. I end up dancing with another junior. When we're finally home we're all exhausted at fall asleep almost immediately.

On sunday I consider my campaign strategy while drinking some of the apple cider I brought home. I decide to go with free hugs and badges like the other years. Why fix something that ain't broke? I suppose I'll go as Lady Lampshade Head again as well. In the speech I'll focus on how well I've done the other years so the students can comfortably trust me to make decisions that everyone is happy with. On monday after class I hurry down to the mailroom to deliver the papers with my decisions. The next few days pass quickly and aside from Catherine and Co. using the opportunity to degrade me, something along the lines of "pathetic desperate girl", they pass painlessly though I once again had a rather awkward hug with Pastel. That girl just takes every chance she gets! I mean every damn year! Election Day comes around and obviously, according to several people, I win Junior Treasurer. So still up far too early on saturdays..


	7. Chapter 7

I just spend all day doing this. I really hope you guys will like it. Feel free to give me any critique both positive and negative. I really want to improve.

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The next two weeks pass in a blur between treasurer duties, which now includes the occasional meeting about future events and such, and preparation for the upcoming exam. Friday the 25. of october comes around and the second exam is about to begin. As I'm walking towards the exam room I find Catherine and two of her minions walking in my direction. Please let her just ignore me!

"Oh, Isla! Headed for your exam?"

I look up to Cathrine smiling and I know I'm not gonna like anything coming out of her mouth.

"Yes, so?" I cross my arms thinking the less I say the faster I can get out of here.

"Oh, I just wanted to wish you good luck. I mean, you're gonna need it now that you can't ask Professor Grabiner for help," Yes, not liking a word of that.

They all begin laughing. Mercifully they begin moving past me, somehow all of them walking into me hard enough for me to fall into the wall. I sigh and begin walking towards the exam room. I stand in front of the door taking a deep breath. The stress of the last couple of weeks are taking their toll and my body is aching. Maybe I'm getting sick. Would be just perfect. I put my hand on the doorknob and am teleported to the dungeons. I'm in a big room lit up by torches. Hay is strewn around the room and plant life is coming in from holes in the ceiling which also brings in some light, so I guess I'm on the upper levels. As I look into the middle of the room I see a pedestal which I know from previous experience will teleport me out of the room. The problem is what is around the pedestal. Hellhounds. Seven of them. They're big black dogs with dark red eyes, big claws and big teeth. I stand completely immobile barely daring to breath. Luckily for me they're all sleeping but I need to get past them to get out. Hellhounds have incredible senses so I can't sneak past them like I did with the hodags. They're also incredibly fast and resilient both physically and to magic. I have to deal with them. But how? I can't do a group spell on them with how spread out they are and the others will notice if I cast on them individually. I try to move quietly to the side to see if there is anything convenient I can use. As I move my foot, it hits a rock. The sound sounds like thunder to my ears and apparently it did too to the hounds. One by one they look up and are staring at me. Then they stand up and approach me growling and barking. This is going to hurt. They suddenly all charge me and I only just have enough time to put up a ward. Okay think, Isla think! What do I do? What do I do? I get an idea. First I cast Boost Strength and Thick Hide. I then close my eyes and create a big bright light hopefully blinding all the hounds. While still holding the light I cast teleport self trying to aim right for the pedestal. As I open my eyes I see that I've overshot it but it seems all the hounds are standing over by the other wall trying to see again. I make a run for the pedestal. From the corner of my eyes I see something coming for me and I just have time to put my arms up in front of my face before a hound is on top of me biting down on my right arm. I scream at the excruciating pain and try to push the hound of. I somehow get my legs under it and kick it of me. With more luck than I could hope for it lands in a trap I somehow avoided myself and gets tangled up in vines. I get up and desperately try to make it to the pedestal while holding my useless arm. The other hounds are now charging towards me again and I pretty much fall on the pedestal, push magic into it and can feel myself being teleported just before another hound is on me. As I land on the grass I fall to my knees clutching my bleeding, most likely broken arm and see Professor Moor rushing towards me.

"Oh dear! Let me take a look at that,"

I do everything I can not to scream as she takes a hold of my arm but something like a whine gets past my lips. Slowly the pain lessens until there is only an ache.

"Don't carry anything heavy or do any strenuous exercise for the next couple of days, understood?" She looks at me with a stern expression though there is much warmth in her eyes.

"Yes understood Professor. So, did I pass?"

She smiles at me like I'm a stubborn child. "Yes you pass Miss Murray. 5 Merits,"

Suddenly the ache isn't so bad after all. Turns out I was getting sick, and the next two days I pretty much stay in bed.

On Thursday the next week we have to prepare for the Dark Dance. Junior president and treasurer are responsible for casting wind and smoke spells in the gym beforehand. As I enter in the evening with everyone else I find a corner with not too many people. I twirl and skip as elegantly as I can. I never was much of a dancer. Suddenly I feel something like a hand holding my own. It doesn't feel quite solid, but definitely there. I let myself be twirled and passed from one phantom hand to the other. I didn't know you could actually dance with the spirits. A part of me thinks I should be scared but I shut that part up and give myself over to the experience. As daylight approaches it seems the spirits disappear around us and we're herded to our rooms.

On monday a note is slipped under my door requesting I meet with Hieronymous after class to discuss the Junior's tribute. Why didn't he just knock if he was here anyway? After class I arrive at the mailroom to see him sitting in a chair reading some thick book in a language I don't know.

"Good day Professor. I'm here with our decisions for the tribute,"

"Oh, yes. And what have you decided on?" he closes the book and gives me his full attention.

"Minnie and I decided we wanted to do something different this year. We were thinking of selling small stone figurines in christmassy motives like reindeers and such. We've already found several students willing to help for some extra merits,"

"And you are sure these students are capable of what is needed?" he says without much change in his expression. Well what did I expect? That he'd be impressed with our creativity?

"Yes quite sure,"

"Good," he writes down what I've said and then looks at me. "How is your arm?,"

"My arm..?" I'm confused for a moment until I realise what he's talking about. "Oh, it fine. Doesn't hurt anymore though there is a little scarring. Apparently that is hard to avoid with hellhounds. Did Professor Moor mention it to you?" I ask rather confused as to why he would know about it.

"I was at your examination. I still attend some of the Junior's exams,"

"Oh," I blush realising he watched me fumble through the exam. Why that one and not the one I aced? I also feel a bit of irrational disappointment that he didn't bother to come check on me at the time.

Apparently noticing my embarrassment he says "Though you could have done better you reacted quickly to a bad situation and managed to reach the objective despite a less than desirable situation,"

"Um, thank you Professor,". His expression doesn't change and I excuse myself.

After that I decide to go for a walk into the forest to cool my head. He goes from ignoring me to being concerned about my well being and feelings. I feel like a boat in a storm just getting thrown around with no control at all. I end up walking outside the ward that surrounds the immediate area around the school. I've done this several times before. It is not against the rules but not encouraged either. I walk until i reach a small river and then turn right, walking alongside it. I know that if I continue in this direction there is a fallen tree which I can use to cross. Suddenly I get this knacking feeling that I'm being watched. I turn to my left and on the opposite shore I see a horse. It is beautiful. The fur is this bluish black and the mane and tail is jet black. It looks to be about 170 cm tall at the shoulders. And it is staring right at me. I get this creepy feeling when I look into it's eyes. There seems to be far too much intelligence there for a normal horse. And why would there be a horse up here in the mountains? My instincts are telling me to run but i can't move, caught in the gaze of the horse. After what feels like a lifetime but are probably only a minute the horse neighs and gallops of into the forest. I immediately turn around and run with everything I have back to the school grounds. Even when I'm inside the wards I don't stop until I'm on the open grounds of the school. Only then do I dare stop and look back. There is nothing behind me. I'm wheezing and leaning on my knees when Virginia jogs over.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Between breaths I manage to say "Strange horse by the river,"

Virginia looks into the forest "A horse in the forest? That makes no sense. Where would it come from?"

Finally able to breath again I straighten up "I don't know but it was creepy as hell,"

Virginia grins at me "Scared of horses Isla?"

"No!" I say a little sulky before heading back towards Horse Hall. The rest of the day Virginia mercilessly teases me about the horsegirl being afraid of horses. Still, something really felt off about it.

The next week I run into Donald in the class hall.

"Hey! You still interested in doing a prank?" he asks, a smirk on his face.

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"Thought I'd give everyone a scare out in the courtyard. Make an illusion and see them run. Problem is I can't get the sounds right. Thought you might be better at that, and maybe make some extra effects. So, you in?"

It sounds harmless enough and we'd only be scaring them. And since I'm no longer a teacher's wife there's no problem there, so I agree. We walk down to the courtyard and hide behind one of the buildings. Donald creates the illusion of a big wild boar with big tusks and I, using a mimic spell, attach the sound of it. While it runs around I also have to push up dust when it turns and such. Everyone runs and screams and jumps for cover. I feel a little bad but when I see that many of those there are ones that gave me trouble because of my marriage, including Catherine, I'm not feeling too bad anymore. Soon Hieronymous comes marching out, the manifestation of fury, and dispels our illusion. He casts another spell and we know we're busted. Magic carries a "smell" that is unique for every caster. Which means that one can identify the caster if one knows their "smell". And Hieronymous definitely knows ours. As he realises who it is he first looks very surprised and then furios. I gulp as I duck behind the wall next to Donald. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, I think closing my eyes. From the other side of the wall I hear steps approaching quickly. As they stop I know he is standing right next to me. I can almost touch his anger. Despite every desire to do otherwise I turn to look at him. Yes, he is very angry.

"Both of you will be in detention on saturday. Understood?"

"Yes sir," we both say though Donald seems more relaxed than me. Then again, he is not standing right next to Hieronymous. He gives me one last glare before turning around and walks back towards where he came from.

"Well, that was scary. Haven't seen him that angry in a while. You sure you too aren't still married?"

I lean back against the wall closing my eyes. "Positive,"

"Well, looked like he took it pretty personal,"

Yes but why would he? We're separated. How I act no longer reflects on him in any way. I feel a headache coming on..

On saturday Donald and I walk together down to detention. I do it with no small amount of trepidation. I had a class with Hieronymous on thursday and and he was like ice. Damn, that man can hold a grudge. But why is he so angry? As we walk into the mailroom he is already there.

"Miss Murray, sit. Mr. Danson, come with me," and without pause he walks out.

A part of me is tempted to stay standing just to spite him but I think better of it. I don't want to get into more trouble that I'm already in. I grab a random book from a shelf before sitting down. No way of knowing when he'll be back. Seems like the book is about this famous warlock who died about a 100 years ago but was quite the fighter and fought in a war in the otherworld. After about 10 minutes Hieronymous steps into the room. He sits down opposite me and stares at me. I close the book and stare right back. Though for the last 9 months I've been at best timid with him, suddenly my temper ignites. How dare he be this angry with me? I've been a model student since the day we got married, then I make one sidestep and he's furious with me. Nope, that's not gonna fly.

"So, do you want to explain to me what you think you were doing out in the courtyard?" his temper is now showing in his eyes though his expression is still made of stone.

"Doing a prank," I say without breaking the eye contact.

A crack in his mask "And why would you be doing that?"

"I needed a change of pace," I shrug still holding the searing eye contact.

He stands up in one quick move and leans over the table, his temper now fully released "Is this a game to you Miss Murray?! You should be better than this! You're a class treasurer, a junior, a-!"

I now stand up too, my temper now released as well. "A what?! Yes I'm a treasurer but that only means I can't have dimerits, not that I need to be the perfect student! Being a junior doesn't demand that of me either. The only role I've had that demands that is being your wife but I'm no longer that am I?!" Before he can stop me I continue. "Yes, pranks aren't good behavior but I'm sick of being good when so many still take any chance they can get to belittle me and put me down! For once I just wanted to be a normal student, doing normal stuff and acting my age!"

Some of the steam goes off me and I just stare at him. He's staring at me looking dumbstruck for lack of a better word. He straightens up, his temper seemingly vanquished. He is more in control, a look of concern on his face "You're still being bullied?"

I shuffle, awkward after my outburst, not able to look at him "Yeah.. It's not as bad as last year after the divorce but it still sucks,"

"I didn't know. Why didn't you say anything?"

And then some of my temper reignites making me able to look at him again "And how would I do that? You've been avoiding me like the plague since the divorce, which only made the it all worse," I look down when the pain from his avoidance hits me.

Sternly he says "I did what I thought was best. You are a student and your life has only just begun. There is still so many people you'll meet and many places you'll go. The marriage has already made things more difficult for you and I do not wish to make it worse,"

I look at him feeling a little tired "Have you ever considered that I might know what's best for me? I'm not a child anymore. I'm capable of deciding who I want to associate with and strong enough to handle the consequences of it,"

He raises a brow at this "but you just said how tired you were of all the things necessary because of our previous connection,"

"I'm tired of them because I'm standing alone with it all. It was worth it before when you were still my friend but now it's like I've got all these things I have to deal with but nothing good has come of it,"

He takes of his hat, brushes his hand through his hair and looks out the window. For a moment we just stand there in complete silence, neither of us knowing what to say.

I look up at him as he begins to speak "I believe we've had this conversation before, or something similar to it,"

First I'm confused and then I remember, "The May Day ball". I can't help smiling at the memory. He turns halfway around to look at me with a crooked smile.

"I believe you said something quite similar to me that day. About how I myself don't know much about life and especially how you should live yours,"

"I still stand by that," I say smiling

"I don't doubt that. And maybe you are right,"

"Really..?" I raise a brow not trusting the easy surrender.

He sighs "You are many things but stupid is not one of them. You are soon nineteen and quite capable of deciding for yourself who you want to spend your time with,"

"And does that mean you'll consider having tea with me again?"

He chuckles, "If that is what you want I shall not try to stop you,"

I know I'm now grinning quite stupidly but I can't stop myself. This is more than I could have hoped for. He does seem quite happy himself in his own controlled way.

"Sooo now that that's taken care of, what's my assignment?"

He looks at me confused.

"Detention? You do remember that's why I'm here don't you?"

I see a small blush before he clears his throat to hide it. He puts his hat hat back on as I try not to laugh.

"Oh yes, umm.." he says looking around like he's trying to pull an assignment out of thin air. He notices the book on the table.

"Read that. You might learn a thing or two from him,"

I frown at him not happy with the assignment but keep my mouth shut not wanting to ruin our truce and knowing he has given me something probably a lot easier than what Donald got. After a few hours Donald returns from his assignment and we are both released.


	8. Chapter 8

So for now I'm keeping the updates rather regular. Crossing my fingers that I can continue finding the motivation ;)

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I return to my room, tired even with the easier detention punishment. As I enter, neither Ellen or Virgina are in. I thankfully lie down on my bed, close my eyes and just relax one muscle at a time. I lie like that for several minutes before I allow my thoughts to return the conversation I just had with Hieronymous. It feels strange, like it was too easy. 9 months of pretty much complete radio silence and suddenly he is willing to spend time with me again. Not just willing but almost enthusiastic about it. It makes no sense that he would suddenly change his mind. But maybe it isn't so sudden. All those small things I brushed of this year might have been something more than what I thought. They seemed insignificant all by themselves but now they look to be more than I first thought. What about last year? I think back from the day after the divorce to the last day of school. Was there anything that would suggest he regretted his decision to cut me out of his personal life? I think back and can't think of anything until I get to the 2. of May, the very last day of my sophomore year. I was standing out in the courtyard with my luggage waiting for my parents. They were late and almost everyone were already gone. Only very few were staying over the summer because they had nowhere else to go. Ellen would have fitted into that category except that she was invited to stay with the Dansons.

" _Guys where are you?"_

 _I stand restlessly trying to will my parents to appear. I'm incredibly impatient to get away from here. These past few months have been tough and I'm more than ready to get some peace from it all. I'm also beginning to sweat. It's only May so it's not too warm yet but still rather uncomfortable to stand around in. I look around and see the tree in the middle of the courtyard to my left with plenty of shade underneath. I pick up my bags and walk over to it so I at least can lean on it and get out of the sun. I stand there for a couple of minutes until I hear footsteps on one of the walkway to my left. As I look up I see Hieronymous walking past. In that moment he looks up and we make eye contact which I quickly end by looking straight forward. The footsteps stop. Then they begin again and this time they are most definitely approaching me. I stand straighter and hold my breath. I almost made it out of here without talking to him. Why must my parents be late today of all days?! The steps stop next to me._

" _Have your parents not arrived yet?"_

" _No," obviously. I'm making a tight fist with my right hand where he can't see it. I'm both sad and angry and scared that I'll say something stupid while lashing out at him. Better to say as little as possible._

" _You know you are welcome to wait inside for your parents. I'd rather you did not pass out and cause more trouble for everyone,"_

 _I'm now clenching my hand so hard that my nails are digging into my hand. Could he for once not treat me as someone who only makes problems for others? I keep my eyes ahead, doubting I could hide my temper._

" _Don't worry Professor. I have no intention of causing trouble for others. If you don't mind I would prefer waiting out here. My parents should be here any minute,"_

 _I can almost feel him frowning at me. I haven't said anything disrespectful but we both know that the tone I'm using is not my usual tone. The fact that I'm not looking at him and am obviously tense is probably no helping. Before he can say anything though my parents are arriving and is parking up front. I'm relieved beyond measure, my shoulders sacking around me, and I quickly pick up my bags._

" _There they are. I should hurry so they have to wait for me. Have a nice vacation Professor," I quickly begin walking forward not having looked at him once._

" _You too," I hear him say in a calm controlled voice, but I don't look back. After all there's nothing there for me anymore._

I sit up in one sudden move. I go over the episode in my head again and again. Since I didn't look at him I can only judge from his actions and what he said. I consider everything in a new light knowing what I know now. Maybe he wasn't berating me. Maybe he was actually concerned about me. Wouldn't be the first time he ended up saying things completely wrong and hurting me instead. He can never express how he feels without putting it into some sarcastic remark or other. Then there is the fact that he walked over at all. He could just have walked on, completely ignoring me. All of of this is insignificant evidence. Another reason could be that he was just acting the teacher he was. I feel like I'm grasping at straws but with what just happened I'm apprehensive to just discard the thought. Just then Ellen and Virginia enter the room. Apparently they just got back from the mall.

"So how was detention?" Virginia asks casually after telling everything they did in the mall.

"Okay. Had to read some book about some great wizard. Not too bad. I think I got the better end of the stick in comparison to Donald. Apparently he got to learn a lot more about wild boars, up close and personal,"

"Ha! That's what he gets for always doing pranks. And pulling you into it to boot,"

At this I frown. "He didn't pull me in. I decided to come along on my own. And I don't see why it should make a difference if it's me or someone else who helps him,"

Ellen looks at me with a mix of love and pity. "Of cause it makes a difference Iris. You were married to Professor Grabiner, the two of you were sort of friends until the divorce. I highly doubt you'll ever be just any other student to him,"

I sit back, kinda taken aback by this sudden statement, and just look at her not quite sure what to say to that. "You never believed that before,"

"I did. I just didn't think it would be good for you to hear it,"

I look down feeling rather unsure before saying "He just agreed to have tea with me again,"

The silence that followed was deafening.

"He WHAT?!" Virginia jumps up and I have a good idea about what's coming. "For almost a YEAR be barely talks to you, barely recognizes your existence, and now he suddenly wants to what? Pretend nothing happened? That he didn't completely break your heart and step all over it?!"

"Virginia!" Ellen yells.

"What?!" Virginia yells back, still in a fit.

"I don't know," I say in a low voice. They both turn to look at me. "I don't know what he is expecting. He said it was up to me to decide who I want to spend my time with. That the reason he ignored me for so long was to protect me but since it's obviously not what I want he's gonna stop. I don't know what this means and I don't know what's gonna happen but I know that I'm not ready to give up on him. If I get my heart broken again it's my own damn fault," at this I look up at them. "I know you both care a lot about me and don't want to see me get hurt again but this is something i have to do,".

There is a moment where there is complete quiet in the room as we stare at each other. Then Virginia sighs heavily and slumps down on her bed.

"Fine, I'll support you or whatever, but don't come crying to me when it all blows in your face,".

"Got it," I can't help smiling knowing that if it all really does blow up in my face she'll be ready to take a swing at Hieronymous no matter how scary he is.

"If it makes you happy we'll support you in it," Ellen says, an almost motherly smile on her face. I'm pretty lucky I've got such good roommates.

The next week on tuesday and wednesday Minnie and I meet with with the volunteers to make figurines. There are quite a few but to make sure everything made is of a good quality we have to set of extra time. I made everything from a reindeer to a cabin to a little girl standing in the wind in a winter coat and dress. The last one I couldn't quite explain though Virginia asked. Not one figurine is alike and so it takes a while. At least once both days Hieronymous checks in, probably making sure we're not destroying the classroom but by wednesday we are satisfied with the amount that's been made and Potsdam rewards us all 10 merits. Saturday comes around and we all gather the supplies in a van and drive down to the mall with Hieronymous as chaufour. As a Junior my shift is pretty early. The shifts begin from about 9 am and are in 1 hour intervals which means the juniors's shifts are from 11 am to 12 pm and 12 pm to 1 am. I get the later shift. When I was a freshman I stood at the booth almost 2 hours more than I was supposed to, 4 hours in total since I took both shifts. No wonder my legs gave under me. The first few hours I get something to eat and do some window shopping. As the time for my shift approaches I walk towards the booth. Minnie smiling and talking merrily to two teenage girls. She looks to be doing good. Hieronymous is sitting some way to the left of the booth. I waver for a moment but then walk over to stand next to him leaning against the wall. Apparently the book is not too fascinating since he actually notices me.

"Early, are you?" he says after quickly glancing at me and looking back down at his book.

"Well it wouldn't do to have Minnie fall over in exhaustion from standing too long," a small chuckle.

At this he smiles slightly. "That it wouldn't. Though I doubt most others would be so foolish,"

"Calling me foolish, Professor?" I say grinning

His smile broadens a little "That you most certainly are,"

At this I laugh. Others might have been miffed but I know his dry sense of humor and honestly I like it. From then on there is a companionable silence until I have to switch with Minnie. I notice that quite a lot of the figurines are already gone. They are being sold for 10 $ a piece so it should be a good help in raising enough funds. The hour passes quickly and when I'm done, I take the bus back to school. That night as I lie in bed I remember the conversation I had with Virginia on wednesday. That was the day I made the little girl figurine. Virginia had commented on how lonely it looked and asked how I could think of christmas looking at it. At the time I had no reply. I didn't know why it was. Now I thought about it again. A small girl standing in the snow alone. It was rather odd I guess. I imagine the little girl in my head to see what kind of feelings and thoughts it might produce. I feel cold but not lonely. Then suddenly I feel with some certainty that she is waiting. Waiting for someone? Yes, she's looking out into the dark waiting for someone to appear. But who? And who is this little girl? I focus more strongly on the girl trying to see a face or something. And that's when a memory pierces through. The little girl is me. Many years ago, maybe 14 or something, I was standing in the snow waiting for someone. It was cold and dark and and very late. The cold wind is biting my face, snow entering my eyes, the cold seeping through my clothes and boots and yet I'm stubbornly waiting for someone. No matter how hard I try I can't remember anymore than that. I keep trying to remember something, anything but give up when I begin getting a headache. After some time I fall asleep, feeling like I've forgotten something very important.

The next week we only have two days of classes before we go home on tuesday for our thanksgiving break. On tuesday we're all summoned for an assembly in the gym. This is a tradition which is done every year. We all hold hands while we thank our loved ones, the earth and otherworlds. We thank for what we have been given and will give and a lot of other things. As it finishes we all rush to our room to get our things. When I get to the courtyard my parents are already there. As I'm walking towards them I see Hieronymous standing around, barking at students and making sure no parents see something they shouldn't. When he turns around I catch his attention. He smiles and nods at me, I do the same before before hurrying on. It's a rather cold october day but somehow my face feels like it's burning up.


End file.
